Category: Portugal 2026

It can be difficult to know oneself at times. Out of the blue, you can do something completely surprising and not in character. It’s even possible that others may know you better than you do – or not . . .

Predictability within any relationship reinforces that perceived knowledge of the other. It’s a reciprocal alliance. One expects. The other does too. Behaviour personified. Smooth sailing often the result.

Before set off day, Mrs S always likes to give Beastie’s interior a thorough clean. It’s a woman’s world and all that. The Stink Bug count during this process neared triple figures – apparently. However, despite their French (r)evolution, it seems not all were treated with Liberté, égalité and fraternité !

Unable to squish one directly – a far too juicy treat – Mrs S sent an innumerable number into oblivion by first placing a leaf over each one in turn, before sending them into a far better place . . . which wasn’t France.

Today’s count 13 – 12 alive, 1 not so . . .

A short ninety minutes away from Camping Ezcaba lies Bardenas Reales Natural Park of 45,000 hectares. A dry, dusty, bumpy ride takes in an unexpected landscape, that challenges one’s perceived impression of Spain. Its en-route to our overnighter at Camping Fuente de la Teja, Soria.

Fun over – our two hour trip down to Soria, not quite so warm and sunny . . .

Yet we can only see so far. From day to day it’s impossible to imagine what surprises may lie ahead, or around the next corner. Our minds visualise the future and depending on our nature we see either positive, or negative scenarios.

Regardless, the key is to ‘Give a little whistle’ and always look on the bright side of life.

Day 4 – On schedule, Beastie is left in the capable hands of Theo at GlassAuto. A family run business operating across three franchise units in this region. A two hour job, which with the help of a free loan car, enables 2 Cheeses just enough time for a quick gander into Pau, while Beastie is given a Specsavers onceover.

We head up to the chateau, only to find it closes at 11.45am for lunch! Re-opens at 2pm. France!! We make do with a leisurely stroll through this very chilled city, nestling within sight of the Pyrénées and their snowy caps.

13.15 we pick up Beastie. Hand over €2,400 – that’s the easy bit. Mr S, having organised the replacement before Aviva have officially accepted the estimate, could find his proverbial backside getting bitten. Time to ‘Give a little whistle’?

We head up and over a less mountainous route across the Pyrénées, towards Pamplona. Mrs S obviously less focused on the winding scenery than on the current hot topic of each day.

Day 5 – With the weather-man promising an afternoon of heavy showers, Scoot is kept in reserve for those sunnier, drier climes, which are sure to materialise. Beastie given the chance to be seen as the man about town.

His secure underground parking area is eventually reached. Many of the inner city roads are blocked. A marathon is in place. At one point, Mr S calls over a policeman for assistance. Google translate at the ready. He sees the phone. Beams “What? You don’t speak Spanish!”

Pamplona is famously famous for mainly one thing . . .

The day ends with 8 Stink Bugs having been sent flapping.

A memory is like a 10,000 piece jigsaw, with only 1% of the pieces in their rightful place. A further 4% randomly scattered, yet always at the ready to be repositioned to recreate a more realistic picture of events long gone – should a new perspective be presented. The remaining 95% stay in deep storage. Destined never to see the light of day again.

Day 2 – Another 345K dash south ends at Camping le Rejallant, just outside Ruffec and its pretty watery kayak/sports centre, based around a series of bridge connected mid-stream islands. A perfect way to walk off the day’s trudge.

Apres-dinner relaxation finds Mr S engrossed in the European semi. Mrs S has gone for a shower. The site has little light pollution. As in it’s basically pitch black out there. To complicate matters, all pitches have been delimited with six foot six hedging. A series of off kilter walkways connect everything. If Mrs S was a tall mouse, that would present no problem. Problem is she’s a short Cheese!

At 22.41 my mobile rings. I don’t recognise the UK number. “Hello?” “Cheese, it’s me. I’m lost!” “Where are you?” “I don’t know”.

By the end of today, 22 more Stink Bugs have been given their orders.

Day 3 – Over the last three days we’ve broken our golden rule of ‘No Tolls’ – but it’s been worth it just to save time and make the final 365K to Idron and Camping bar les Sapins. Five minutes from GlassAuto and Beastie’s new windscreen.

18 more Stink Bugs released from captivity during the course of today.

As a parent one must assume that your young child understands what a metaphore is. Else a good night’s sleep would hardly ever follow. The fact that human skin can be host to a multitude of micro organisms is information better passed on at a future date.

With the French computerised entry system down on our side of the Channel, today’s foray under La Manche, got off to a later than dreamed of start. More like a nightmare. With just three days to traverse the length of France to be in Pau by end of play Friday, Beastie will be tested.

We’re now pitched up at Camping les Ilots de Saint Val in Villiers-le-Morhier. It seems we’re also pitched up with a roosting clan of Halyomorpha halys – AKA Stink Bugs, to you and me. They creep out of every known crevice known only to the men who screwed Beastie together.

First encountered big time on our autumn trip last year. Realised we’d brought a ‘few’ back with us. It seems they’ve wintered over within Beastie’s warm interior, like a flock of starlings, without the murmuration. Aware that they’re back on home turf, they materialise from nowhere, like ghouls rising up from their graves. Thriller style, but not quite so scary. Today we carefully expunge twenty.

Obviously it will be advisable to sleep with mouth closed for the foreseeable future !

Fail to prepare, or prepare to fail – an often repeated idiom meant to encourage and emphasise the importance of leaving no stone unturned. Problem is, there are a hell of a lot of stones out there. So it can be super easy to miss the odd one. Especially when it’s hiding in plain sight.

It’s good to make a ‘to-do’ list. It brings you a feeling of being in control. Each task a mere tick away from completion. And as you strike through the increasing number of now redundant jobs, you become envigorated all the more. Itching to strike off that final item becomes a mini-quest. Yet, you can never really relinquish the idea that you may still have overlooked something. Something so obvious to see, it’s staring you in the face . . .

Bottom of the list. Wash Beastie from toe to tail. Head to foot. More often than not he’s a mucky-puppy. So it’s important he looks his best for the big off. At least for the first few days. He may be past his prime, but he still spruces up nicely.

As the final touches are being diligently applied by Mr S, he moves on to the windscreen. After a few squirts of Autoglym’s marvelous Fast Glass, it becomes as transparent as daylight. Unfortunately even more so.

A 10″ zig-zag crack is revealed.

Sacrebleu !!!!